Building a Life from Memories: My Mother’s Stones

THE PLACING STONES JOURNAL

Building a Life From Memories: My Mother’s Stones

When I was 15, my world changed forever. My mom passed away at the age of 47, and her loss left me with more questions than answers. In that moment of grief, I felt unmoored—without guidance on how to move forward.

My very first task after her death was designing her tombstone. Looking back, I realize that experience may have planted the seeds for my career in graphic design. Searching for words that could capture her spirit, I turned to her favorite poet, T.S. Eliot, choosing these lines from Portrait of a Lady:

I am always sure that you understand.

My feelings, always sure that feel,

sure that across the gulf you reach your hand.

In the years that followed, I filled the emptiness she left behind with her presence in different forms. I framed family photos. I cooked her recipes. I hung her artwork and filled shelves with her treasures. These mementos weren’t just keepsakes—they became touchstones of joy, guidance, and comfort. In every house I’ve lived in, they’ve made my spaces into homes. These memories became my stones, layered over time, shaping me into who I am today: a wife, mother, sister, and friend.

When we began creating Placing Stones, I found myself revisiting those mementos again. I discovered how healing—and even fun—it was to stumble upon an old recipe, pull out her artwork, or call a relative decades later to hear new stories. Each discovery felt like finding a new stone to add to my collection, another layer of connection with her.

I can’t encourage you enough to try it yourself. Uncovering, sharing, and preserving these moments doesn’t just keep a memory alive—it deepens your own story too.